The awesome author, Seumas Gallacher, @KevinSwarbrick 'Deliciously Scandulous blog Tour'

Thank you all for joining me and my wonderful guest on my blogspot. Just a little recap to remind you what the interviews are about... I wanted these interviews to be different and unique. I want them each to have their own individuality to match the author's personality who do participate.

I want to do an interview that put the author's mind to the test and also to show the readers how awesome their creative minds actually are when put on the spot.. This is a little more than just an interview, with great stories and fun questions along with fun answers, this is one blogspot that should hit the right spot... if you  have a sense of humour :) Let's see how my third guess, Seumas Gallacher get's along. I will let Seumas introduce himself...

Website     http://www.seumasgallacher.wordpress.com

An Authorial Icon-In-Waiting, Seumas Gallacher, at the age of 97 ½, has come a tad late to the quill-scraping fraternity, but has been blessed with astonishing support for his first two novels and was even voted ‘Blogger of the Year’ (it’s amazing what a bit of champagne and chocolate biscuits bribery can achieve). Born in the Govan Docklands area in Glasgow, this modern-day Steinbeck-Child-Clancy has moved around the world, mostly to escape the clutches of a posse of probation officers and Interpol. The Far East, and now the Middle East, has had to bear his company for the past 33 years. He’s now trying to figure out how to make ten million dollars from guesting on blog sites like this one…



Nice Bio for a 97 year old lol,  I can see the fun has started alredy... Thank you for the brief introduction, Seumas, I won't even ask if you are wearing any, just as long as you let your mind hang out on this interview then we're all safe... Wait a minute doesn't a man have two minds!! Use your top one please Seumas, and I hope by doing so, you get to make that million dollars from being a guest on my blogspot. Its nice to know you for spot talent! 'Giggles'  let's see how you can answer these questions and also thanks again for being here :)

Its my pleasure to be here

Sometimes in life, we all want more than what we can have, but if you had one wish to have anything or anyone, what would that wish be and why?

I strongly believe that everything that's happened in my life to date was necessary to sculpt me into what I am now... so, I'd change NUTHIN. (I can imagine my old Philosopher chum, Plato, turning in his crypt.

I agree with what you're saying; Ive been sculpted with life and I am who I am :)

I would like you to make a short story up using no more than 500 words, containing every one of these 14 key words; Tube, Swing, Cube, Dog Poo,  Blood, Window, Dad, Car, Sex, Limp, Job, Grass, Nite, DM!

Sometimes your luck can play daft games with you. I was in my car on the way to an audition two days ago. I needed the job badly. You know how it is when you have to limp by day by day with hardly enough left in the wallet to buy even a tube of toothpaste. The play being cast was ‘The Nite of the Cube’, a weird modernistic production from an old playwright, probably as ancient as my Dad. I thought I’d just swing by the theatre early, maybe get some kudos for looking keen. I parked my battered Vauxhall at the side of the building, next to the sex parlour that abuts the place, sent a DM to my agent to tell him where I was, and clambered out, flicking the electronic key to lock the doors. What I failed to notice from the car window, hidden in the grass verge was a pile of dog poo. The result was catastrophic. Head over heels I went in a vague simulation of a drunken frog. The body blows were bad enough, but the blood streaming from my nose spattered down my best white shirt.

Still half-dazed, and decidedly shaken, not stirred, I tottered into the auditorium. An instant scream pierced the morning quiet. “He looks perfect! Get his name, now!” The utterance from the casting chief amazed me, until it was explained they needed to fill the walking corpse part. They congratulated me on thinking so well ahead and thought it neat that I could be so clever. To ‘come in character part’.


The first night is tomorrow week, but I can’t think where to find a load of more dog poo. We real actors value our immersion in the role, you know.

You sure passed that question with flying colours! Great story Seuams and like my other guest you have made that question look very easy, you even used  the word dog poo twice :) 

When I first started writing, I had a lot of negative people around me, I know I had to lose that energy in order to continue writing and fulfilling what others thought I couldn’t do. Did you ever experience any of this when you first started writing or were you lucky enough to have the right support around you?

I seem to have discovered the ability to shut out the external noise. Besides, I have a personal thing about there only being two kinds of day… Good Days and Better Days. It’s difficult for Negative Nellies to get to me.

I can relate to that, I have only just started learning over the years how to shake off that negative. If people can't be happy for you, then they're not meant to be a part of you. I'm youngish and I am not 97 'giggles', I still have a lot of learning to do, but that is one thing I have learned, is to shake off negativity, it's the best way to move forward. Speaking of forward lets move on...

 If you had a chance to run any country and make to make a difference, what country would that be and why?

I’d love to be the Wizard Gandalf with the Magic Wand to transform the lives of the general populace in the Philippines. The country is blessed with the most joyful, laughing, singing, dancing, good-natured folks imaginable, but counterpointed with natural and man-made disasters on a regular scale. They deserve better fortune.

I can relate to that, but if you had a magic wand you wouldn't need to be on my blog spot trying to make a million dollars. I'll be borrowing that wand and having a pint with you... Don't forget who your friends are :)

What would you say the worse thing a reader has ever said to you, and what was your reaction?

The earliest negative review I received was from some guy who gave THE VIOLIN MAN’S LEGACY two stars out of five. The dagger-through-the-heart feeling was palpable. I then checked the only other review this guy had done. It was on John Grisham. He gave him one star out of five! From that time forward, I try to treat the bulk of reviews with a huge barrel of salt.

I thought we had already discussed negative energy, I'm just glad you have moved on from that now. I know when I received one 2 star review, I felt the same as you, but then reality kicks in, 'what does it matter'  you're going to get people that like your work and then your going to get people that it doesn't appeal to, same old saying, 'you can't please them all.' 

I would like you to vision yourself walking down a busy high street with a partner or a friend, and suddenly there was a noise that came from your their bottom and the public turned around looking at you, what would your reaction be and why?

I’d laugh my head off. I’m squarely in Billy Connolly’s court with this stuff. Bodily functions are normal, and the surprise is what makes us giggle. Farting should be franchised I say.

 'Giggles', I just had a vision then, of you and your friends's in that room next to Billy Connolly standing around drinking whisky with all the kilts lifting up with gushes of wind coming from your backsides, a bit like that film... what's it called again it's an old classic... 'Blazing Saddles' that's the one, you know where they're all sat round a camp fire eating beans, I think you know the rest,. Take that vision and I think it could be another great comedy stretch depending on how it's done of course :)

Use only two words that would describe you?

Irreverent. Positive.

The first word certainly sums you up and I can see where the positive comes into play, I just hope you go easy on me after this interview goes live :)

 8, Have you ever been…

A, The owner of a lonely heart

B. The owner of a broken heart

C. None of the above?

If the answer is C, please can you tell the reader how you have done it, I can see the reader would being interested to know that one, I know I am.

A and B, several times over.

Sorry to hear that, Seumas. I know how those hearts can hurt! This is the third interview and they have all been the owner of a broken heart, but not several time's, mind you! My answer to that would be 5 times so far, but I've not reached several times just yet, who know's what tomorrow brings!  

 It's time for a little fun, I would like you to do the rhyme ‘Humpty Dumpty’. Using your own words and without holding back.

 Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,

All the King’s horses, and all the Kings men

Had scrambled eggs for breakfast.

... And then amen! I meant a little like this ' Kev's Style' 

Kevin Swarbrick flat on his back

Kevin Swarbrick never looked back

All the women and all men were really surprised when Louie was bigger than them with the women shouting out 'Amen'... Anyone who has read my novel 'Passion' will know who Louie is, I just had to get that one in, 'Giggles'

When you are writing, do you ever think, 'Erm me and my partner did that once, that has to go into the story?

Only once? Hardly. You’ve got to practice some stuff a lot to write about it with authority.

'Giggles' That's why I'm so good at it, now that explains a lot :)

If you could be a Musical instrument, which one would you be and why?

Violin. It’s an instrument that can evoke the entire range of human emotions. ( And some of them are worth a lot of money, so I’d also change my name to ‘Seumas Stradivarius’.)

Seumas Stadivarius, now that's a great name :) I don't think I could be any Musical instrument that has strings, people have played with my strings for far too long, but I am glad they have now or I wouldn't be the person I am today ;)

If you could change one thing about you as a person, what would that one thing be?

NUTHIN.. see answer #1 above. Happy with the product as is.

I will toast to that :)

I  know we all remember our first kiss, would you say you had a good experience or a bad one?  Please explain why.

Good experience. We must have been all of 4 years old. Early starters in Govan, we were. Sunday School Christmas party. Postman’s Knock, Children’s kissy-kissy game. Mostly intended I think to embarrass kids to the delight of their fellows.

Bloody hell! 4 years old for your first kiss, I can remember a lot of my life, but I can't remember when I was four, that's just a blur. It must be my age ;)!

Do you ever remember a part in your life that made a huge impact on you as a person. If so what was it and why?

Loads of them. Growing up as a teenager, working in the Scottish Hebrides after leaving home at 15. Six years there, among great characters and the most friendly, generous people I’ve ever known has left a legacy with me.

Happy memories with great friends are always the best. I am lucky to have some awesome friends that I've known since my teens too. Those friends are the best, they have stuck by me all those years and they're going nowhere, they're there for the good times and the bad. Now thouse kind of friends are priceless and are hard to come by. 

Who inspired you to write or was it always a dream to be an author?

It just occurred to me about four years ago that it ‘was time’ to eventually write ‘the novel’ that everybody’s supposed to have in them. The passion for the whole nine yards of the process from writing, to editing, to publishing, to marketing, to social networking, that has developed in this short space of time leads to me know I should have started decades ago.

I am glad you decided to write, sometime's you do have to let it all hang out as you know 'Giddles' really though what a better way to do that than putting it all into words. It's a lot of hard work that's for sure and I hope I am doing my part to help you all to be noticed that little bit more. I won't keep you as I know you have to go, but before you do I would Like to say thank you for coming along on my blog tour and for being such a great sport. You did great on this test, but your rhyming needs a lot of work 'Giggles'. I wish you all the best for the future. I hope you find that wand too. Before you go...

Can you tell the reader about your latest work and also, where they can find you.

The Work in Progress is SAVAGE PAYBACK. It’s populated with the same characters as the first two novels (and there’s at least another two to follow this one). It spins around the ex-SAS officers who now run their own specialist security firm. When international criminal gangs and drug lords come across their bows, they revert to their black ops personae to sort them out.

The second book is VENGEANCE WEARS BLACK, and I’ll post the links for that here, so that the gasping readers don’t have to wait until I finish SAVAGE PAYBACK….

US              http://amzn.to/UK 

UK             http://amzn.to/13yV1YX 

Canada       http://amzn.to/14gODEZ

Website    http://www.seumasgallacher.wordpress.cGoodreads,      

Goodreads http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5242668.Seumas_Gallacher

Facebook,           https://www.facebook.com/seumasgallacher?ref=tn_tnmn

Twitter,                @seumasgallacher

Blog Page,           http://seumasgallacher.com 

Seumas had to leave the building in a hurry, It's my fault mind you, we didn't realize that was the time. I mentioned we only had half hour before last orders at the bar.

Great interview with a great guest. Thank you Seumas for being such a great sport and taking your time out to take part of this blog tour :)

We would both like to thank all the readers for all their support. We both hope you have enjoyed this interview. Until next week when I have another great guessed lined up for you! Right that is me out of here now... Enjoy your weekend, I have a cheeky pint to attend to before it goes warm. Cheers everyone ;)!!